Quotes

“Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books written in a foreign language. Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day.” -Rilke

One Way Out

The burden of unknowing and doubt lays heavy on any human heart which has attempted to live in the world. A burden which for the most part is furthered by the Church rather than embraced.

Mind you, this burden is not a problem to be solved, but embraced. Too often the Church has used St. Thomas as a means of saying: do not doubt! But this is as far from truth as one can get.

Doubt and unknowing: there can only be one way out (if, in fact, we can ever truly escape) and that is to go through them. Just as with the wrath of God, so with doubt.

Run towards the doubts and uncertainties, sprint even. For at the center there lies the cross, the greatest example of uncertainty. Doubt is part of existence, faith. Faith without doubt is boring, and a creation entirely planned is equally dull.

But:

“And your doubt can become a good quality if you train it. It must become knowing, it must become criticism. Ask it, whenever it wants to spoil something for you, why something is ugly, demand proofs from it, test it, and you will find it perhaps bewildered and embarrased, perhaps also protesting. But don't give in, insist on arguments, and act in this way, attentive and persistent, every single time, and the day will come when, instead of being a destroyer, it will become one of your best workers--perhaps the most intelligent of all the ones that are building your life.” Rilke 

On Christianity as Absurdity

"Modern man must descend the spiral of his own absurdity to the lowest point; only then can he look beyond it. It is obviously impossible to get around it, jump over it, or simply avoid it." Vaclev Havel

Much of what I believe has become absurd, or seemingly so. I've come up against the limits of reason where one can do nothing other than embrace the absurdity. Is that not faith itself? To embrace the utter strangeness of the gospel, its inherently radical nature.

And maybe that's why Christians are so obsessed with having a rational explanation because we have to defend ourselves against the attack of atheists. But is this not the absurdity of the gospel? That we don't defend the validity of our beliefs because they cannot, in fact, be defended. This is not to say they're invalid but rather that the so aptly called 'Christ-event' is absurd and as such cannot be explained.

But once more we encounter an absurdity. By realizing the absurd nature of reason and going onward in faith we embrace absurdity once more. Absurdity is given up for lack of power and replaced by an absurdity of power in weakness: the cross.

Anecdote(s)

1.

For a church culture that wishes biblical faithfulness over cultural norms our view of women is based upon culture and its stereotypes. 

2. 

Christianity is said to be based in the bible but is, in fact, most fully embodied by our lives.

3. 

Law and gospel, two tensions intertwined. 

To Be Determined

1.

My lovely dances in the moonlight

always moving, an image of fluidity

and grace. She always dances to a

specific rhythm and beat. Nothing 

can stop her and her indomitable

spirit. Her dance is a fight, a cry, a

raging against the sadness and the

deadness of the world today. My

lovely dances in the moonlight.

2. 

Oh, oh, look in the mirror young

one. Oh,

tell me what you see. See a light

shining in your eyes as you try to

smile. Those glittering moments

when you can see past the evil,

past the dark,

are fleeting. There and gone and 

back again like a ghost that never

can or ever will quit.  

3.
Not sure what this all means or even
stands for. Not really sure I want to.
But I can't say I never will know. To
search and wonder and pray and breathe
and sleep, that is the fullness of life. To
feel the curve of your lovers body on yours
and the smell of their sweat is the fullness
of being.

4.

I sit, silently.

5.

God, the silence that speaks, through whom
and in whom and by whom we live, move,
and have our being. 

On Heresy

  Heresy is a good thing. I know the church proper should be opposed to heresy but I honestly cannot find good reason to stand against it as it is. By this I mean, simply, that heresy, is over rated. It is a word thrown around in the church today, especially by Protestants who want to sound like they have some grasp and/or appreciation for church tradition, and is so often used (and abused, frankly) that it is essentially meaningless. So, how is a word that is, for all intents and purposes, meaningless, a good thing?

  Heresy is simply any doctrine/dogma/idea contrary to orthodox Christianity. Leaving aside the issue of what orthodox Christianity is, it would seem rather wrong of me to suggest that heresy is a good thing in light of this basic definition. But I will suggest such a proposition. And my basis for this claim is simply that seeking Truth (whatever that may entail or be) requires one to step on toes. Truth is to be sought and in doing so one may find that they are enjoining themselves with a heretical notion. And the notion that this is a bad thing, to enjoin oneself with heresy, must be done away with. Inherent in the search for Truth is the risk of heresy. Heresy serves two purposes in the church: 1) to cause reevaluation of dearly held beliefs so as to test whether those things are True and 2) to spur the Church proper into action (I am grateful to Dr. Michael Bauman for this clarifying point). As such heresy is a good thing. It serves a long run purpose. However, does this mean one should arbitrarily become a heretic? No. But one must accept that inherent to Truth seeking is the risk of heresy and that holding a heretical notion (if, indeed it is heretical) can be a good thing for your beliefs and the vitality of the Church. 

Untitled n. 4

Walk into the sunlight
watching the car

pulling into the driveway
across from you. Observe

and watch and learn
as the woman clambers

out. Breasts singing as
they go up and down

with each breath. Observe
and cross the line. In

the soul everything goes
a-flutter. Something is

happening, occurring
and stirring.